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Greetings Lovelies!
Monday, May 13th  don’t miss Bobby Levithan and special guest Dr. Joel Solomon. Discussing the topic “GAY MEN/STRAIGHT MEN:  How different are we, really?”
Enjoy this weeks installment of Bad Behavior!

Dear Bobby,

I ‘m so excited.  My boyfriend is moving in officially on June 1.  I haven’t lived with anyone in over a decade.  I‘m wondering about how this might impact our sex life.  How often do most couples have sex?  Does domesticity dull the sex drive?

Dear “Domestic Bliss’,

Moving in is very exciting.  Congratulations!  And, it can bring up issues that come from more consistent time together, domestic chore distribution and personal habits that might have gone unnoticed on a part-time basis.  As for sex, each person and each couple have their own rhythms and variations. Built up resentments can damage your sex life. Communication is the way through, as well as acceptance of  inevitable differences.  Talk about your excitement and open the channels for talking about any problems that could arise.  Be kind and patient with your partner and yourself and you’ll be just fine! 

Dear Bobby,

My parents both died in recent years.  Since their deaths, I have begun my transition from male to female.  I have a feeling I needed them gone to do this…is this odd?

Dear “In Transition’,

Being parentless changes our place in the world.  For many of us, we have to find our balance again—we grieve and accept that we are the older generation.  The deaths of our parents can also be liberating.  Loyalty to their ways sometimes holds us back from taking major steps in our own development..  It‘s now your time to be free of your parents limitations and to forge the next chapter in your life.  Making a gender transition is an enormous decision and it’s a significant undertaking.  This is a brave undertaking—challenging and exciting.  I trust you are getting all the support you need.  Take very good care of yourself.  Brava!

 
Dear Bobby,

My younger partner has lived with me for five years in the house I shared with my long ago deceased older partner.  I have supported her through graduate school and given her a wonderful life.  She doesn’t always act grateful; in fact sometimes she is a bit of a brat—demanding to have things her way.  I may give her too much power over our choices on a day to day level, but I control the big things.  Is this normal?

 
Dear ‘Older and Wiser’,
The cheapest form of power can be ‘No’!  Power differentials are part of most relationships.  When one partner is the financial provider, the other partner can feel ‘less than’.  Sometimes, they overcompensate by demanding attention and getting their way. 
I would recommend that you both look at the effect of your choices and if her behavior is too bothersome, you are entitled to ask for some additional consideration and care of your day to day needs and wishes.  Love and kindness can transcend any of these issues.  Enjoy the process and build your skills as partners who can work things through.

 
Dear Bobby,

A man I dated about a decade ago has moved back to NYC.  He broke my heart then.  We are spending some time together.  We have great fun, wonderful conversations and terrific sex.  I haven’t suggested that we ‘date’ as I am afraid this will scare him off even though he says he is looking for a relationship.  I’m not sure how to proceed?

Dear ‘Second Time Around’,

 
You two seem to have ‘business’ with each other.  However, the form of that connection may or may not be that of boyfriends.  I would recommend taking it slow and watching to see if he has really changed over the years.  If you are both up for something, the time might be right, but patience will protect your heart and the friendship.  So take it slow and enjoy what it already is!

 

Greetings Lovelies!

Monday, May 13th  don’t miss Bobby Levithan and special guest Dr. Joel Solomon. Discussing the topic “GAY MEN/STRAIGHT MEN:  How different are we, really?”

Enjoy this weeks installment of Bad Behavior!

Dear Bobby,

I ‘m so excited.  My boyfriend is moving in officially on June 1.  I haven’t lived with anyone in over a decade.  I‘m wondering about how this might impact our sex life.  How often do most couples have sex?  Does domesticity dull the sex drive?

Dear “Domestic Bliss’,

Moving in is very exciting.  Congratulations!  And, it can bring up issues that come from more consistent time together, domestic chore distribution and personal habits that might have gone unnoticed on a part-time basis.  As for sex, each person and each couple have their own rhythms and variations. Built up resentments can damage your sex life. Communication is the way through, as well as acceptance of  inevitable differences.  Talk about your excitement and open the channels for talking about any problems that could arise.  Be kind and patient with your partner and yourself and you’ll be just fine! 

Dear Bobby,

My parents both died in recent years.  Since their deaths, I have begun my transition from male to female.  I have a feeling I needed them gone to do this…is this odd?

Dear “In Transition’,

Being parentless changes our place in the world.  For many of us, we have to find our balance again—we grieve and accept that we are the older generation.  The deaths of our parents can also be liberating.  Loyalty to their ways sometimes holds us back from taking major steps in our own development..  It‘s now your time to be free of your parents limitations and to forge the next chapter in your life.  Making a gender transition is an enormous decision and it’s a significant undertaking.  This is a brave undertaking—challenging and exciting.  I trust you are getting all the support you need.  Take very good care of yourself.  Brava!

 

Dear Bobby,

My younger partner has lived with me for five years in the house I shared with my long ago deceased older partner.  I have supported her through graduate school and given her a wonderful life.  She doesn’t always act grateful; in fact sometimes she is a bit of a brat—demanding to have things her way.  I may give her too much power over our choices on a day to day level, but I control the big things.  Is this normal?

 

Dear ‘Older and Wiser’,

The cheapest form of power can be ‘No’!  Power differentials are part of most relationships.  When one partner is the financial provider, the other partner can feel ‘less than’.  Sometimes, they overcompensate by demanding attention and getting their way. 

I would recommend that you both look at the effect of your choices and if her behavior is too bothersome, you are entitled to ask for some additional consideration and care of your day to day needs and wishes.  Love and kindness can transcend any of these issues.  Enjoy the process and build your skills as partners who can work things through.

 

Dear Bobby,

A man I dated about a decade ago has moved back to NYC.  He broke my heart then.  We are spending some time together.  We have great fun, wonderful conversations and terrific sex.  I haven’t suggested that we ‘date’ as I am afraid this will scare him off even though he says he is looking for a relationship.  I’m not sure how to proceed?

Dear ‘Second Time Around’,

 

You two seem to have ‘business’ with each other.  However, the form of that connection may or may not be that of boyfriends.  I would recommend taking it slow and watching to see if he has really changed over the years.  If you are both up for something, the time might be right, but patience will protect your heart and the friendship.  So take it slow and enjoy what it already is!

 

1 note

The KIKI - Paradisco w/ Josh Sparber
Last week’s Paradisco at the great lawn of THE OUT NYC was a mega hit! We’re excited to continue on this week. NYC nightlife fixture Josh Sparber will be treating us to his take on daytime house and disco music with additional tunes provided by the Occupy The Disco team. RSVP via the event link in the comments, and read more about Paradisco on our site:http://bit.ly/104oTXr. See you this Sunday from 3-8!
XXX - OCCUPY THE DISCO

The KIKI - Paradisco w/ Josh Sparber

Last week’s Paradisco at the great lawn of THE OUT NYC was a mega hit! We’re excited to continue on this week. NYC nightlife fixture Josh Sparber will be treating us to his take on daytime house and disco music with additional tunes provided by the Occupy The Disco team. RSVP via the event link in the comments, and read more about Paradisco on our site:http://bit.ly/104oTXr. See you this Sunday from 3-8!

XXX - OCCUPY THE DISCO

MUSTS - DRAG ON “The Animal Inside” 

Ladies and Gentleman,

On the evening of April 27th we are going to celebrate the birthday of a sublime member of our community, Zachary Barnett, and the launch of the human trial fund for a new therapeutic HIV vaccine with Abzyme Research Foundation.

This little video will SERVE you! Please join us @ XL for an incredible evening. Followed by the usual Satuday Night XLS MARY-ment. 

 Tickets start at $40, and are tax-deductible :)https://vimeo.com/63506499, so come unleash your animal inside! RSVP and ticket info here DragON 2013-The ANIMAL Inside

xxx

 
Dear Bobby,
 
I‘m now sober for over a year.  In AA it is suggested not to start a relationship in the first year of sobriety.  I am eager to date again, but I am intimidated by the idea of  sober romance and sober sex.  Suggestions?
 
 
Dear ‘Newly Sober’,
First of all, congratulations on your sobriety.  The choice to get sober can be the most important element in well-being.  Your ability to work your 12-step program and ‘live one day at a time’ are now a platform for further exploration.  How about living your dating life ‘one day at a time’ and approaching each interaction with beginner’s mind!  It can be intimidating to date and have sex sober, but it can also be exciting to enter a new chapter and discover new ways to be.   Substances are often used to cover social anxiety and insecurities which  can now be handled.  Getting sober is tantamount to growing up.  Congratulations!
 
 
Dear Bobby,
 I am attracted to women sexually and gay men as friends.  I just don’t seem to get along with the straight guys.  However, I really prefer sex with women.  I am happily married to my second wife and we have a beautiful child.  I just wish gay guys would accept me as straight and as a friend without constantly questioning my sexuality.  What do you advise?
 
 
Dear ‘Metro-Sexual’,
I know, we hate that term!  Just kidding.  But it was a term for guys with a more fluid sensibility who happened to be sexually straight.  Good for you to realize who you are and step out of the proscribed box.  Gay men who think all gay-friendly guys are really closet cases are limited in their viewpoint and miss the wonderful spectrum of sexuality and sensibility that is possible in the 21st Century.  Your confidence in yourself will outweigh the silliness of anyone else’s inability to expand their limited viewpoint.  We all need to be absolutely accepting of each other on issues of sexual orientation and cross-cultural friendship!
 
 
 
 
Dear Bobby,
I’m 32 years old.  I have a great career and have been with my partner for almost 10 years.  Sometimes I fantasize about bringing another man into our bed for a night.  Is it wrong of me to suggest this?  I am afraid my partner might be insulted.
 
 
Dear ‘I Have a Fantasy’,
Let’s start with the fantasy:  Most of us have thoughts about varied sexual experiences.  You could begin by asking him what his fantasies might be—offering to share one of your own.    Sharing a fantasy with your partner is different from demanding that he do something he might not be into.  Exploring fantasy can enliven your sex life and if you both choose to go further and enact one, do it with a commitment to each other and the willingness to call if off  at any point along the way (having a code word that lets the other know can be helpful) if either of you can’t handle it in reality.  A three-some can be enlivening for some couples and invasive for others.  This is a decision that you and your partner must make for yourselves.  
 
 
Dear Bobby,
I am almost 60 years old and I feel I missed out on my real life as a gay man.  I was closeted for years and haven’t had sex in a long time.  I also have some physical conditions which inhibit my walking these days.  Is there any hope for me to find love?
 
 
Dear “Is it too late?’,
I firmly believe that all of us are entitled to a sex life and a love life.  There are partners out there who can handle your limitations and respect your journey.  I would recommend going onto some dating sites and being truly honest about your situation.  Also, some of us use sexual masseurs or other professionals to help us get more comfortable with our sexuality.  Love is out there—it just might be a little harder to find—or it might be easier than you thought.
 
 

 

Dear Bobby,

 

I‘m now sober for over a year.  In AA it is suggested not to start a relationship in the first year of sobriety.  I am eager to date again, but I am intimidated by the idea of  sober romance and sober sex.  Suggestions?

 

 

Dear ‘Newly Sober’,

First of all, congratulations on your sobriety.  The choice to get sober can be the most important element in well-being.  Your ability to work your 12-step program and ‘live one day at a time’ are now a platform for further exploration.  How about living your dating life ‘one day at a time’ and approaching each interaction with beginner’s mind!  It can be intimidating to date and have sex sober, but it can also be exciting to enter a new chapter and discover new ways to be.   Substances are often used to cover social anxiety and insecurities which  can now be handled.  Getting sober is tantamount to growing up.  Congratulations!

 

 

Dear Bobby,

 I am attracted to women sexually and gay men as friends.  I just don’t seem to get along with the straight guys.  However, I really prefer sex with women.  I am happily married to my second wife and we have a beautiful child.  I just wish gay guys would accept me as straight and as a friend without constantly questioning my sexuality.  What do you advise?

 

 

Dear ‘Metro-Sexual’,

I know, we hate that term!  Just kidding.  But it was a term for guys with a more fluid sensibility who happened to be sexually straight.  Good for you to realize who you are and step out of the proscribed box.  Gay men who think all gay-friendly guys are really closet cases are limited in their viewpoint and miss the wonderful spectrum of sexuality and sensibility that is possible in the 21st Century.  Your confidence in yourself will outweigh the silliness of anyone else’s inability to expand their limited viewpoint.  We all need to be absolutely accepting of each other on issues of sexual orientation and cross-cultural friendship!

 

 

 

 

Dear Bobby,

I’m 32 years old.  I have a great career and have been with my partner for almost 10 years.  Sometimes I fantasize about bringing another man into our bed for a night.  Is it wrong of me to suggest this?  I am afraid my partner might be insulted.

 

 

Dear ‘I Have a Fantasy’,

Let’s start with the fantasy:  Most of us have thoughts about varied sexual experiences.  You could begin by asking him what his fantasies might be—offering to share one of your own.    Sharing a fantasy with your partner is different from demanding that he do something he might not be into.  Exploring fantasy can enliven your sex life and if you both choose to go further and enact one, do it with a commitment to each other and the willingness to call if off  at any point along the way (having a code word that lets the other know can be helpful) if either of you can’t handle it in reality.  A three-some can be enlivening for some couples and invasive for others.  This is a decision that you and your partner must make for yourselves.  

 

 

Dear Bobby,

I am almost 60 years old and I feel I missed out on my real life as a gay man.  I was closeted for years and haven’t had sex in a long time.  I also have some physical conditions which inhibit my walking these days.  Is there any hope for me to find love?

 

 

Dear “Is it too late?’,

I firmly believe that all of us are entitled to a sex life and a love life.  There are partners out there who can handle your limitations and respect your journey.  I would recommend going onto some dating sites and being truly honest about your situation.  Also, some of us use sexual masseurs or other professionals to help us get more comfortable with our sexuality.  Love is out there—it just might be a little harder to find—or it might be easier than you thought.

 

 

TUNES WE LOVE - OCCUPY THE DISCO 
 
Hunty, It’s time to emerge from your cavernous winter decisions, put on your cutest summer frock and hit the Disco Deck of THE OUT NYC with OCCUPY THE DISCO. This week the crew is bringing you one of our FAVE Dj’s - Sean B! For years, Sean has been “Turning” us on various dance floors/lofts & warehouses around the world. For more on Sean, tune in to the OTD blog HERE!
See you SUNDAY!
April 21 - 3pm-8pm

TUNES WE LOVE - OCCUPY THE DISCO 

 

Hunty, It’s time to emerge from your cavernous winter decisions, put on your cutest summer frock and hit the Disco Deck of THE OUT NYC with OCCUPY THE DISCO. This week the crew is bringing you one of our FAVE Dj’s - Sean B! For years, Sean has been “Turning” us on various dance floors/lofts & warehouses around the world. For more on Sean, tune in to the OTD blog HERE!

See you SUNDAY!

April 21 - 3pm-8pm

TUNES WE LOVE - MOVE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION - BETH DITTO

In Honor of a recent visit to THE OUT NYC and XLS, we feel it’s imperative to enlighten you with the *REALNESS* that is Beth Ditto. This gorgeous creature graced us with her presence and kicked off her montage with a musical moment that was supremely appropriate. 

Spring is coming, love is in the air and it’s time to clean out your big gay wardrobes - In the words of Miss Ditto herself “MOVE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION” 

Beth - Thank you for an incredible evening. It was SUCH a delight to have you and we hope you pop in again VERY soon! 

Here are words for you to LIVE by!!

One step closer and feeling fine
getting better one day at a time
I’m moving forward it’s all in my mind
I’m heading talk with a new stay to mine

so I hold back tears
move in the right direction
face my fears
move in the right direction

I’m doing fine
one step closer every day at the time
I won’t lose my mind, lose my mind, ah ah

Motivation a powerful strength
hesitation was my first instinct
I got an ocean than weakness was
total devotion it’s okay

Because I will hold back tears

so I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
now I can move in the right direction

I’m doing fine
one step closer every day at the time
I won’t lose my mind, lose my mind, ah ah

Keeping my head of, looking forward
reminiscent with gagging away
never say never starting over
it’s not perfect but it’s getting closer

I hold back tears
so I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
now I can move in the right direction

I’m doing fine
one step closer every day at the time
I won’t lose my mind, lose my mind, ah ah



2 notes

THE SEXUAL ETHICIST - Dr Bobby - APRIL 19th 

Dear Bobby,

I am working for a Gay Company.  This is my first workplace where it’s assumed you are gay.  I’m not sure what is OK.  Can I date a co-worker?

Dear ‘Fun at the Office’,

Mixing work and relationships can be risky. Office romances can jeopardize the equilibrium of the workplace.  It’ll be critical to be able to work together if the dating doesn’t play out well.  Communication and looking at the bigger picture are not a bad idea.  Is it worth the downside of drama and tension, even losing a job?   A fellow columnist when asked about this replied: “Don’t shit where you eat.”  Although a bit rough, she has a point.

Dear Bobby,

I am afraid to live with my boyfriend, because the next step after that is marriage and I’m not up for that.  Is this all right?

Dear ‘Altar Shy’,

What I find interesting is your logic.  Does living together have to lead to marriage.  Now that gay marriage exists, it is important not to fall unconsciously into hetero-normative thought patterns.  Marriage remains an option not a requirement when cohabitating.  Remember, many straight couples choose not to marry.  Gay couples should not feel forced into a structure which might not necessarily suit their needs and values.  I would look more closely at whether you are up for moving in with your boyfriend and leave marriage out of the equation for now.

 

Dear Bobby.

I‘ve been with my partner for almost two years.  I have a hankering to go to Barcelona, but I want to go on this trip solo.  I like traveling alone, but my boyfriend is hurt by this.  Am I wrong?

Dear ‘Flying Solo’,

There is no right or wrong here.  Partners often have different ideas about things.  The challenge is to keep things clear.  Going on a vacation alone is not hurtful unless it is meant to be, or if it is taken to mean something more than time apart.  Some couples spend significant time recreating separately, some do most things together.  These are choices.  However, you and your partner have to work this out in a way that serves both of you as individuals as well as the two of you as a couple.  Might I suggest planning a trip together and a trip apart, thereby making the point that you are not averse to travel with your partner and that you enjoy solo journeys as well.

 

Dear Bobby,

I am pissed at my partner and myself because we never bought an apartment and now we can’t afford to live in our favorite neighborhood anymore.  I feel like a loser.  Help!

Dear ‘Hard on Yourself’,

Real estate is tricky.  It’s easy to look back and see missed opportunities, but we can’t always predict the market.  Seeing yourself as a ‘loser’ is an add-on:  I would guess that there are many areas in which your life might be enviable to others.  You are in a long term relationship, for example.  Being regretful about the past is only useful if we bring ourselves back into the present and look at what opportunity we might be missing right now.  We need our resources in the present where we can make things better.  Learn from the past but leave it behind where it belongs.

THE SEXUAL ETHICIST - Dr Bobby - APRIL 19th 

Dear Bobby,

I am working for a Gay Company.  This is my first workplace where it’s assumed you are gay.  I’m not sure what is OK.  Can I date a co-worker?

Dear ‘Fun at the Office’,

Mixing work and relationships can be risky. Office romances can jeopardize the equilibrium of the workplace.  It’ll be critical to be able to work together if the dating doesn’t play out well.  Communication and looking at the bigger picture are not a bad idea.  Is it worth the downside of drama and tension, even losing a job?   A fellow columnist when asked about this replied: “Don’t shit where you eat.”  Although a bit rough, she has a point.

Dear Bobby,

I am afraid to live with my boyfriend, because the next step after that is marriage and I’m not up for that.  Is this all right?

Dear ‘Altar Shy’,

What I find interesting is your logic.  Does living together have to lead to marriage.  Now that gay marriage exists, it is important not to fall unconsciously into hetero-normative thought patterns.  Marriage remains an option not a requirement when cohabitating.  Remember, many straight couples choose not to marry.  Gay couples should not feel forced into a structure which might not necessarily suit their needs and values.  I would look more closely at whether you are up for moving in with your boyfriend and leave marriage out of the equation for now.

 

Dear Bobby.

I‘ve been with my partner for almost two years.  I have a hankering to go to Barcelona, but I want to go on this trip solo.  I like traveling alone, but my boyfriend is hurt by this.  Am I wrong?

Dear ‘Flying Solo’,

There is no right or wrong here.  Partners often have different ideas about things.  The challenge is to keep things clear.  Going on a vacation alone is not hurtful unless it is meant to be, or if it is taken to mean something more than time apart.  Some couples spend significant time recreating separately, some do most things together.  These are choices.  However, you and your partner have to work this out in a way that serves both of you as individuals as well as the two of you as a couple.  Might I suggest planning a trip together and a trip apart, thereby making the point that you are not averse to travel with your partner and that you enjoy solo journeys as well.

 

Dear Bobby,

I am pissed at my partner and myself because we never bought an apartment and now we can’t afford to live in our favorite neighborhood anymore.  I feel like a loser.  Help!

Dear ‘Hard on Yourself’,

Real estate is tricky.  It’s easy to look back and see missed opportunities, but we can’t always predict the market.  Seeing yourself as a ‘loser’ is an add-on:  I would guess that there are many areas in which your life might be enviable to others.  You are in a long term relationship, for example.  Being regretful about the past is only useful if we bring ourselves back into the present and look at what opportunity we might be missing right now.  We need our resources in the present where we can make things better.  Learn from the past but leave it behind where it belongs.

MUSTS/iHart - SELECT PROJECTS - “Spring Shows” 
Ladies and Gentle-ladies. 
You are cordially invited to the opening reception gala for the second edition of SELECT Projects NYC! Presented by SELECT FAIR and IN*TANDEM MAGAZINE.
ABOUT:SELECT in partnership with IN*TANDEM MAGAZINE, has curated  artistic talent for our second installment of SELECT PROJECTS NYC. We’re featuring three dynamic artists for our Frieze Week exhibition: Robert Dupree, Leeza Meksin and Vincent Valerio. Join us on May 8th as we toast to their talents as we kick off Frieze Week here in NYC!
 


ABOUT THE SELECT PROJECTS ARTISTS





Robert Dupree
"My work focuses on the social and physical restraints put on in cultural and personal relationships. The actions performed in my work are staged, divorcing them from the assumed endurance art. Paul McCarthy stated about performance from the “…1970s where there was a sort of emphasis on concrete performance. Performance as a concrete reality, where you don’t represent getting shot, you actually get shot…” Vito Acconci, Chris Burden, and others have created work that would only be pushed further by daring to kill myself, which would inherently end my ability to continue working—not an option. My actions begin by asking why get shot while pushing the boundaries of truth.
At the core of my work there is reverence of the past, sins and all. My work creates a Sartrean relationship between the viewer as subject and me as object. My audience is getting a personal view into my life. I am not showing them something grandiose, just me. By using my body as a tool I am demonstrating mental and physical limits as well as cataloguing my life. It is a mixture of reality and fiction, like a memoir, these documented truths are swayed by perception—personal embarrassment, guilt, and even strength filters my lens. It is a questioning of past mistakes with a self-deprecating humor.”
http://www.rdupree.com/





Leeza Meksin
Elizaveta (Leeza) Meksin is an interdisciplinary artist, who makes paintings, installations, public art and multiples. Born and raised in Moscow, Russia, Leeza immigrated to the United States in 1989, she graduated from Yale in 2007, where she received her MFA. She currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.
"My artistic practice is made up of diverse activities. I make paintings, multiples, site specific installations, sculptures and videos. I also design costumes and sets for theater and film, and readily participate in performances, collaborations and happenings. All of these different artistic modes and activities are unified in my practice by a choice of material: spandex. My use of spandex explores the behavior and potential of a fabric that revolutionized and queered our experience of clothing while shifting civilization towards a more plastic reality. In my work, spandex is not merely a clothing solution, it is an expressive, elastic, and mutable application. Printed in an infinite variety of patterns, responsive to polymers, paints, and other materials, my use of spandex seeks to explore the intersection of painting, sculpture, architecture, design and fashion."
http://www.meksin.com/





Vincent Valerio
Vincent Valerio is an artist and educator from Baltimore, MD. Valerio received his MFA from Towson University where he has also taught sculpture and 2D design as an adjunct professor. Valerio’s work has been shown locally, nationally, and abroad in a variety of exhibitions. Currently Valerio’s work is part of a group exhibition at School 33 Art Center in Baltimore curated by Maiza hixson, which will be traveling to the Delaware Center for Contemporary Art in July. Valerio also is the coordinator of the Drew Putzel Creative Art Program at Itineris- a non-profit serving adults with autism, and is the Founding Director of Baltimore’s newest art space, Pinebox Art Center. Please visit the following sites for more info:
Pineboxartcenter.com Vincentvalerio.blogspot.com Vincenzocouture.com

MUSTS/iHart - SELECT PROJECTS - “Spring Shows” 

Ladies and Gentle-ladies. 

You are cordially invited to the opening reception gala for the second edition of SELECT Projects NYC! Presented by SELECT FAIR and IN*TANDEM MAGAZINE.


ABOUT:
SELECT in partnership with IN*TANDEM MAGAZINE, has curated  artistic talent for our second installment of SELECT PROJECTS NYC. We’re featuring three dynamic artists for our Frieze Week exhibition: Robert Dupree, Leeza Meksin and Vincent Valerio. 

Join us on May 8th as we toast to their talents as we kick off Frieze Week here in NYC!

 

ABOUT THE SELECT PROJECTS ARTISTS

Dirt_TMTY

Robert Dupree

"My work focuses on the social and physical restraints put on in cultural and personal relationships. The actions performed in my work are staged, divorcing them from the assumed endurance art. Paul McCarthy stated about performance from the “…1970s where there was a sort of emphasis on concrete performance. Performance as a concrete reality, where you don’t represent getting shot, you actually get shot…” Vito Acconci, Chris Burden, and others have created work that would only be pushed further by daring to kill myself, which would inherently end my ability to continue working—not an option. My actions begin by asking why get shot while pushing the boundaries of truth.

At the core of my work there is reverence of the past, sins and all. My work creates a Sartrean relationship between the viewer as subject and me as object. My audience is getting a personal view into my life. I am not showing them something grandiose, just me. By using my body as a tool I am demonstrating mental and physical limits as well as cataloguing my life. It is a mixture of reality and fiction, like a memoir, these documented truths are swayed by perception—personal embarrassment, guilt, and even strength filters my lens. It is a questioning of past mistakes with a self-deprecating humor.”

http://www.rdupree.com/

#26_irregular

Leeza Meksin

Elizaveta (Leeza) Meksin is an interdisciplinary artist, who makes paintings, installations, public art and multiples. Born and raised in Moscow, Russia, Leeza immigrated to the United States in 1989, she graduated from Yale in 2007, where she received her MFA. She currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.

"My artistic practice is made up of diverse activities. I make paintings, multiples, site specific installations, sculptures and videos. I also design costumes and sets for theater and film, and readily participate in performances, collaborations and happenings. All of these different artistic modes and activities are unified in my practice by a choice of material: spandex. My use of spandex explores the behavior and potential of a fabric that revolutionized and queered our experience of clothing while shifting civilization towards a more plastic reality. In my work, spandex is not merely a clothing solution, it is an expressive, elastic, and mutable application. Printed in an infinite variety of patterns, responsive to polymers, paints, and other materials, my use of spandex seeks to explore the intersection of painting, sculpture, architecture, design and fashion."

http://www.meksin.com/

vc3

Vincent Valerio

Vincent Valerio is an artist and educator from Baltimore, MD. Valerio received his MFA from Towson University where he has also taught sculpture and 2D design as an adjunct professor. Valerio’s work has been shown locally, nationally, and abroad in a variety of exhibitions. Currently Valerio’s work is part of a group exhibition at School 33 Art Center in Baltimore curated by Maiza hixson, which will be traveling to the Delaware Center for Contemporary Art in July. Valerio also is the coordinator of the Drew Putzel Creative Art Program at Itineris- a non-profit serving adults with autism, and is the Founding Director of Baltimore’s newest art space, Pinebox Art Center. Please visit the following sites for more info:

Pineboxartcenter.com 
Vincentvalerio.blogspot.com 
Vincenzocouture.com

iHart - NICK KNIGHT 

For over thirty years renown fashion photographer Nick Knight has been bringing us iconic images that represent multiple generations of pop culture and challenge conventional notions of beauty. Last year Knight released 15 images from his acclaimed publication Flora which were exhibited along side his new photographs featuring flowers pouring out their colors. This idyllic exhibition took place at the SHOW studio in London in the Fall of 2012. His new works are a hybrid between photography and painting that have stunning aesthetic qualities. His work is brings to mind both the delicacy of 17th and 18th century still life paintings, such as Jan Brueghel’s the Elder, and classic Romanticism and the timeless interest of an artist to capture the fragility of the moment. Knight made these images using his own technique in which he introduces heat and water into the printing process. The images seen in this exhibition took Knight over 10 years of experimentation to perfect.

MORE: http://hifructose.com/2013/04/17/nick-knight-captures-the-fragility-of-the-moment/

1,159 notes

THE KIKI - BETH DITTO @ XL
Thank you NEXT mag for a gorgeous write up!
XXX
XL Nightclub has seen some pretty notable appearances since opening in early-2012—from celebs like Ke$ha and Zachary Quinto who’ve stopped by, to shows by Janice Dickinson and Kazaky. ButBeth Ditto’s mini-concert this weekend was probably the gay mega club’s highest profile event yet.
Coming just after last month’s disorderly conduct incident in Portland, we did have to wonder if the Gossip frontwoman would pull a Tan Mom on XL’s red carpet. But Ditto’s short set was flawless.
“Oh my god! Oh my she-god!” Ditto exclaimed, taking the stage in a black romper and her signature Cleopatra-meets-Siouxsie Sioux eye makeup. Launching into Gossip’s “Move in the Right Direction,” Ditto barely stopped to take a breath as she burned through her short set.
“Don’t steal my moves!” she teased on of her back-up dancers during her solo track “I Wrote the Book.” “You’re gonna find a tampon string!” she joked with another as he slithered between her legs.
Before the show, we’d heard that Ditto planned to cover a Whitney Houston song for the gays, and she didn’t disappoint. After Gossip’s “Get a Job,” she closed the show with “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” leaving the crowd wanting much, much more.
XL was packed with both nightlife notables and honest-to-god stars for Ditto’s performance. Over in the VIP section we spotted Parker Posey and REM frontman Michael Stipe along with Amanda Lepore, while Debbie Harry caught the show from the DJ booth alongside Jodie Harsh. Elsewhere,Earl Dax took in the show with JD Samson and the kids from Tayisha Busay. Also in the audience were Matty Glitterati, Stephanie Stone, Joey Israel, Marcus Isaacs and Vincent Vega, along with XL regulars Epiphany, Boy Hither and Markus Kelle.
After the show we bumped into Ssion frontman Cody Critcheloe, who’s band toured with Gossip last summer. “The most fun part about touring with [Beth Ditto] was sitting in the back of the bus, chowing down at four in the morning just talking shit!” Critcheloe said. “She is one of the most amazing performers alive.”

THE KIKI - BETH DITTO @ XL


Thank you NEXT mag for a gorgeous write up!

XXX

XL Nightclub has seen some pretty notable appearances since opening in early-2012—from celebs like Ke$ha and Zachary Quinto who’ve stopped by, to shows by Janice Dickinson and Kazaky. ButBeth Ditto’s mini-concert this weekend was probably the gay mega club’s highest profile event yet.

Coming just after last month’s disorderly conduct incident in Portland, we did have to wonder if the Gossip frontwoman would pull a Tan Mom on XL’s red carpet. But Ditto’s short set was flawless.

“Oh my god! Oh my she-god!” Ditto exclaimed, taking the stage in a black romper and her signature Cleopatra-meets-Siouxsie Sioux eye makeup. Launching into Gossip’s “Move in the Right Direction,” Ditto barely stopped to take a breath as she burned through her short set.

“Don’t steal my moves!” she teased on of her back-up dancers during her solo track “I Wrote the Book.” “You’re gonna find a tampon string!” she joked with another as he slithered between her legs.

Before the show, we’d heard that Ditto planned to cover a Whitney Houston song for the gays, and she didn’t disappoint. After Gossip’s “Get a Job,” she closed the show with “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” leaving the crowd wanting much, much more.

XL was packed with both nightlife notables and honest-to-god stars for Ditto’s performance. Over in the VIP section we spotted Parker Posey and REM frontman Michael Stipe along with Amanda Lepore, while Debbie Harry caught the show from the DJ booth alongside Jodie Harsh. Elsewhere,Earl Dax took in the show with JD Samson and the kids from Tayisha Busay. Also in the audience were Matty GlitteratiStephanie StoneJoey IsraelMarcus Isaacs and Vincent Vega, along with XL regulars EpiphanyBoy Hither and Markus Kelle.

After the show we bumped into Ssion frontman Cody Critcheloe, who’s band toured with Gossip last summer. “The most fun part about touring with [Beth Ditto] was sitting in the back of the bus, chowing down at four in the morning just talking shit!” Critcheloe said. “She is one of the most amazing performers alive.”

April 10, 2013



















 
Dear Bobby,
How do I tell the sweetest guy in the world that I am just not into him in a romantic way?
Dear ‘I’m Just Not Into You’.
By your tone, I would guess that you really like this guy and have some kind of friendship.  If that is the case, I can assure you that honesty is the best route.  We can’t make attraction happen—it may be pheromones or some unknown quality, but if your boat isn’t rocked, neither of you is to blame.  Express your caring concern, but also your inability to give him what he wants.  See what happens.  You are not responsible for his response, but you are responsible for your intention.  Do your best to be respectful, kind and truthful.  It pays off in the end!



 



Dear Bobby,
Amongst my stable of fuck buddies, I have an escort or two.  I have seen them on a regular basis for a couple of years.  They charge me a ‘buddy rate’ (about the cost of dinner for two at a good restaurant).  They claim to be into me, and by the second or third orgasm, I tend to believe them.  Am I deluding myself?
Dear ‘Happy to Pay for It’,
Professional sexual relationships are under-rated in my opinion.  Just as with other professionals, expertise and convenience can be worth the cost and often there is real chemistry, shared benefit and friendship.  Follow your gut on this and don’t let the prudes stop you from enjoying what sounds like a good thing (or two)!



 



Dear Bobby,
For my birthday, when single, I always give myself a threesome or small group as a present.  I love sex, and yet, at what age does one decide to settle into a quieter pattern?
Dear ‘Birthday Sex’,
Settling into quieter patterns is a choice that reflects that moment or chapter in your life.  It doesn’t have anything to do with age.  Sometimes we need to make things simpler in order to have a new perspective, but if sex is your idea of a birthday treat—go for it!  Blow out the candles and dive in!





























 


Dear Bobby,
I have—with their permission—recorded some of my hottest sexcapades.  I keep them on my Flip as I fear even having them on my computer.  I have a public persona that might be compromised if these were seen.  Am I taking too much of a risk, as is?
Dear ‘Action!’,
If a public outing of your playtime could really damage your career, you are taking something of a risk.  I bet you already show things online or in texts that are XXX-rated, but video is pretty specific and can push a lot of buttons for the less-than-open-minded.  Each of us must weigh the risk versus payoff of our behaviors—sexually and otherwise.
Frankly, you might consider outing yourself as sexually active.  This can take the edge off of possible leaks.  The scandals are harshest when one professes to be truly different than one is.  Being honest but a bit indiscreet is different than being hypocritical.

April 10, 2013

 

Dear Bobby,

How do I tell the sweetest guy in the world that I am just not into him in a romantic way?

Dear ‘I’m Just Not Into You’.

By your tone, I would guess that you really like this guy and have some kind of friendship.  If that is the case, I can assure you that honesty is the best route.  We can’t make attraction happen—it may be pheromones or some unknown quality, but if your boat isn’t rocked, neither of you is to blame.  Express your caring concern, but also your inability to give him what he wants.  See what happens.  You are not responsible for his response, but you are responsible for your intention.  Do your best to be respectful, kind and truthful.  It pays off in the end!

 

Dear Bobby,

Amongst my stable of fuck buddies, I have an escort or two.  I have seen them on a regular basis for a couple of years.  They charge me a ‘buddy rate’ (about the cost of dinner for two at a good restaurant).  They claim to be into me, and by the second or third orgasm, I tend to believe them.  Am I deluding myself?

Dear ‘Happy to Pay for It’,

Professional sexual relationships are under-rated in my opinion.  Just as with other professionals, expertise and convenience can be worth the cost and often there is real chemistry, shared benefit and friendship.  Follow your gut on this and don’t let the prudes stop you from enjoying what sounds like a good thing (or two)!

 

Dear Bobby,

For my birthday, when single, I always give myself a threesome or small group as a present.  I love sex, and yet, at what age does one decide to settle into a quieter pattern?

Dear ‘Birthday Sex’,

Settling into quieter patterns is a choice that reflects that moment or chapter in your life.  It doesn’t have anything to do with age.  Sometimes we need to make things simpler in order to have a new perspective, but if sex is your idea of a birthday treat—go for it!  Blow out the candles and dive in!

 

Dear Bobby,

I have—with their permission—recorded some of my hottest sexcapades.  I keep them on my Flip as I fear even having them on my computer.  I have a public persona that might be compromised if these were seen.  Am I taking too much of a risk, as is?

Dear ‘Action!’,

If a public outing of your playtime could really damage your career, you are taking something of a risk.  I bet you already show things online or in texts that are XXX-rated, but video is pretty specific and can push a lot of buttons for the less-than-open-minded.  Each of us must weigh the risk versus payoff of our behaviors—sexually and otherwise.

Frankly, you might consider outing yourself as sexually active.  This can take the edge off of possible leaks.  The scandals are harshest when one professes to be truly different than one is.  Being honest but a bit indiscreet is different than being hypocritical.

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